


You are the Reason

by goodethorn



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Childhood Friends, College AU, F/F, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Lesbian AU, Lesbians, Romance, Useless Lesbians, crygi, crystal is hopelessly in love, dumb lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:48:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26190646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodethorn/pseuds/goodethorn
Summary: Crystal is madly in love with her best friend Gigi. After helping her move to New York, Crystal is heartbroken without her other half. She know she's living her dreams and fulfilling her her destiny, but it hurts so badly. However, Gigi feels as if something is missing, but she can't quite put a finger on it.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> on god idfk what im doing im just writing what i feel while listening to my crygi playlist at 4 am so bear with me

Crystal had just finished her study session, nothing more than daydreaming was done, however Crystal wouldn’t tell anyone that. Her best friend had left for college the day before. It was a bittersweet moment. Gigi was finally achieving her lifelong dream of being a fashion designer in New York City, but Gigi was also leaving Crystal behind. Now don’t get it twisted, Crystal was ecstatic for Gigi. For years, all the girl talked about was moving out of Springfield and into the city to become the biggest name in fashion, and she finally was on the road to her dream.

It had been a long day for Crystal. Classes at the University of Missouri had just started and she was exhausted. You’d think there’d be no exams in the first week, at least that’s what Crystal thought. She apparently had a sociology exam that Friday and needed to study, but that wouldn’t stop her from worrying about her best friend. Once she got back to her dorm she needed to call Gigi. Crystal made a mental note and packed all her things into her backpack, the same backpack Gigi gave her before she moved. In the big fashion institute, or as Gigi put it, “In the prestigious Parsons New School of Design, I can’t be caught dead with a backpack.” So naturally, Gigi gave the bag to Crystal as a parting gift. It wasn’t much in terms of a gift or a bag, but it meant the world to Crystal. Anything Gigi touched was gold in Crystal’s eyes. 

If you couldn’t tell by now, Crystal was madly in love with her best friend, but the other would never know. Gigi had her fair share of boyfriends. With a girl of her beauty, one would expect her to be dating everyone who wanted her, but Gigi was different. Gigi was always different. She always had the messiest breakups out of the two. However, Gigi was never the one left crying. The breakups were always on her terms and almost always out of the blue. It’s like she always lost interest no matter who she dated. The hottest guy could ask her out and she would have zero interest. In fact, that was the case most of the time and nobody knew why. The entire student body just thought Gigi was too stuck up and Crystal just thought her best friend was picky. Every relationship, Crystal just sat by idly and watched as her best friend kissed someone other than her. It was the same cycle every time and Crystal’s heart broke more with each new relationship. She never would get the girl of her dreams. Maybe sometimes people’s soulmates get mixed up, surely Crystal’s soulmate got mixed up. She was to be in love with Gigi, but Gigi would never love her back. 

Crystal unlocked her dorm and walked in to put her stuff on her bed. Of course, her roommate Daya had her boyfriend over. Everyone but Crystal could be with the person they loved. It’s like the universe loved to rub it in her face that Gigi would never love her back. The girl threw her bag on her bed and walked back out of the small room. Today had been particularly rough and this was not what she needed at the moment. Crystal got into her car and drove without any direction. She didn’t care if she got lost, she just needed to get away. 

At this point, Crystal had been driving for hours. Her tank was empty and it had begun to rain. There was no use driving any further. Crystal was lost and there were no gas stations for miles. Instead of doing the wise thing and calling a tow truck, or even googling where the nearest gas station was, Crystal dialed Gigi’s number but she didn’t hit call. Why would she? Gigi moved on to this new lavish lifestyle and definitely forgot about some nobody in Missouri. She would never love Crystal back; it would never happen. Crystal deleted the number and decided to find the nearest gas station. Why waste time on somebody who will never care for you in the same way. 

Gigi had just gotten back to her apartment after a quick dinner with her friends Jan and Nicky. It was quick and easy, but it was so exhausting for Gigi and she didn’t know why. Everything had been so draining for her and she could barely function at the rate she used to. It almost felt as if something was missing, but she couldn’t put a finger on it. Surely she was just exhausted from the first week in a new city, at a new school, in a new environment. That had to be the problem. It would pass once she got used to it and that would be the end. 

After reorganizing her apartment for the 100th time, Gigi decided to watch a movie. That had to take her mind off of the feeling of emptiness, at least she hoped it would. She grabbed her popcorn and favorite blanket and curled up on her sofa, turning on Netflix as she got comfortable. Gigi scrolled for a bit but ultimately settled on The Notebook, a huge cliche, but her favorite movie nonetheless. Hitting play, Gigi was ready to feel all the emotions of Noah and Allie’s relationship.

The next thing Gigi knew, her phone was ringing her awake. It had to be after 11 pm now and who would call her so late? In her grogginess, Gigi didn’t even look at the Caller Id as she hit answer on her phone. 

“Hello,” she said, thick with sleep. 

  
  


“Hi Geege, it’s Crystal” 

Gigi shot up from her spot on the couch, not expecting to hear the voice of her best friend on the other line. Surely they had talked before she left, but that was two weeks ago now and Gigi had tried to forget the pain of leaving her best friend back home while she moved to chase her dreams. 

“Crystal, Oh my god how have you been! I feel like it’s been forever since we last talked” Gigi said into the phone, this time with more excitement in her voice. 

On the other end, Crystal rolled her eyes. Of course it had been a while. The pair went from talking to each other daily to not speaking for two weeks. Obviously, this was a mistake. She should have never called Gigi. The other girl had to have moved on and didn’t care for her best friend anymore. What was the point in salvaging a dead relationship? Crystal thought about responding, she really did. Gigi was the love of her life and she would never be able to tell her. She wanted so badly to hear Gigi’s voice and listen to her ramble on about her favorite movies and laugh at her terrible jokes, but Crystal couldn’t do it to herself. The pain was too much for her and she ended the call. Crystal’s heart broke for the last time as she hit the button, but she knew it was the right thing to do. It would hurt now, but it would save her heartbreak in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Crystal hung up on Gigi both girls have a lot of panicking, and thinking to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I still don't know what I'm doing tbh I'm just bsing my way through this

When Gigi heard the dial tone, she didn't know what to think. Did Crystal hate her? But why would Crystal hate her? She didn't do anything wrong, at least she didn't think she did. Gigi quickly tried calling her back, it had to be a glitch right? After the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th start of the other girl's voicemail, Gigi knew something was definitely wrong. It hurt to know that her best friend just hung up on her out of the blue, no reason, no warning, nothing. This was so out of character for the older girl. Crystal had never missed a call from Gigi in their 14 years of friendship. When Gigi's family moved across the street from Crystal, the basis for a great friendship was created. When the little girl with the red curly hair accidentally ran into the other raven-haired girl and they laughed as they toppled over, their parents knew they were lifelong friends.  
Gigi thought back to the day they met and held her phone to her heart. She had to be overreacting. Crystal must be having a bad day and in 20 minutes she would call Gigi back and explain everything. The girls had never actually fought before, and they weren't going to start now, at least that's what Gigi thought. To distract herself, Gigi got up and decided to do anything to distract her racing mind. She shouldn't be so worried, but something just felt so off. Even though it was late, she needed something, someone to take her mind off of this. Not even 30 minutes passed and her two closest friends were at her apartment, ready to have a girls night. While Jan and Nicky set up their sleeping bags, Gigi went to the kitchen to make snacks. She settled on the usual popcorn, chips, and candy. If she was going to have a movie night, she was going to do it correctly. Gigi carried the snacks back over to the other girls and snuggled up after setting them down. Jan and Nicky knew something was up with the younger girl, but they decided to just let it be. Gigi would either tell them now or tell them after it ate her up inside. Now, they could tell she just wasn't ready.

  
While the girls in New York were laughing and distracting Gigi, Crystal was alone in her dorm, sobbing. How stupid was she for hanging up on her best friend? How dumb could she be? Gigi knew something was up now, hell Gigi probably hated Crystal now. Of course, Crystal had to fuck everything up. She always messed up and this time was a prime example of her ruining every friendship she had. Crystal laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark while blasting the saddest One Direction songs she could think of. If she was going to wallow in self-hatred, she was going to do it right. As soon as 18 came on, Crystal completely lost it. 18 was the age she finally accepted she was in love with her best friend. 18 was the age she found out her best friend would never love her back. 18 was the year she had her heart filled, then shattered in a matter of milliseconds. It was all too much for the girl. She knew this was the last straw and she needed to move on, except she couldn't. Gigi was the one girl that made her heart beat faster. The one person she felt safe with, and without Gigi, there was no Crystal. How does one live without their other half? Crystal might be dramatic and this could all be for nothing, but she was so caught up in her feelings that essentially no logical thoughts could come out of her brain. It was a do or die, fight or flight, swim or drown situation, and boy was Crystal drowning.

  
When Crystal woke up, she didn't realize where she was at first. She hadn't left her room, but she didn't even know she fell asleep. The amount of crying and overthinking she did the night before left her in a disoriented state, and god she just wanted to go back to sleep and forget it all. It was a gloomy Wednesday afternoon and Crystal just knew it was going to be a bad day. Rolling over, Crystal looked at her alarm clock and saw that it was 2 pm. She had a class in 30 minutes, and it was almost a 40-minute walk. Hurriedly, Crystal jumped to throw on any clothes she could find. Dressed in a random T-shirt and jeans, the girl threw her bag on her back and raced out the door. She couldn't be late this week, she couldn't be late period, so she ran faster than she ever did before. Crystal was no track star or D1 athlete, but she could run and run she did. By the time she reached the lecture hall, it was 2:28 and she was breathing heavily. She didn't know how she did it, but she slid into her seat at exactly 2:30 and sighed in relief. At least one thing was going to go well that day. Crystal was in her first English lecture of the year and she was excited. Even though she was considered an "art kid," Crystal was head over heels for English class. Some, Daya, would argue she loved it more than Gigi but Crystal would shoot that down instantly knowing nothing could compare to the love she had for her best friend. Once she opened a book, Crystal was transported to a whole new world. It was her greatest escape and the one activity that meant everything to her.

  
When her lecture finished, Crystal was more drained than when she ran to class. Out of all days they had to be starting a unit on Wuthering Heights. More things to remind her of the unreciprocated love she had for her best friend. Crystal put her headphones in and slowly walked back to her dorm. There was no reason to hurry, all she was going to do was wallow in self-pity again. Halfway to her dorm, the rain started pouring down out of nowhere. Of course, it would rain today. Crystal wasn't shocked in the slightest. She knew today was going to be horrible and this was just the icing on the cake. The girl let out a huff and continued walking. Obviously, she didn't have an umbrella and she couldn't care less about her clothes getting soaked. It was the least of her concern at the moment, and rightfully so.

  
Soaked from head to toe, Crystal slammed her door shut and threw her stuff to the ground. The poor girl was shivering down to the bone and needed to change immediately. She stripped down and threw on her warmest clothes. Even these wouldn't warm her up but it was a start. Crystal hung up her soaked clothes and hoped they were salvageable. Funny enough, these were the few pieces of clothes Gigi had made and given to someone else, someone else being Crystal. These pieces were priceless to her and if they were ruined Crystal would officially have nothing left. Spreading out the clothes, Crystal tried to grab her blow dryer thinking it would help dry the clothes faster. It was a good idea in theory, but the heat began to ruin the fabric. The room started to smell like burnt clothes and Crystal began to panic. She had burnt a hole through the top with a hairdryer. What the hell was she supposed to do now? Her favorite shirt was ruined. The last thing that smelt like Gigi now had a giant hole in it and smelt like burnt fabric. It was ruined and she couldn't do anything about it. Crystal began to sob harder than she had the night before. Once again she ruined the last good thing she had and there was no way of fixing it. She ruined her friendship, she ruined her life, she ruined the only piece of comfort she had. Nothing was left for Crystal, she ruined it all. The girl cried into her pillow not caring if anyone could hear her sobs. She felt so low and horrible nothing could bother her at this point. It was her version of rock bottom and when she needed it the least, her phone lit up with an incoming call.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal answers the phone and its not who she expected it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a while and is short tbh school sucks and idk what to write im just tryna get shit outta my brain. also nobody proofreads these i just put them through grammarly and pray so if they suck whoops.
> 
> edit: if ur reading this rn, im working on chapter 4 and it should probably be out soon im extremely busy rn so everything is getting a bit chaotic so idk how often i'll be able to update but i'll try my best

Crystal took one look at the Caller Id and answered the phone. Daya was doing her daily check-ins and she knew better than to ignore it. If Daya sensed anything was wrong, she’d be over in 20 and expecting Crystal to spill. The girl dried her tears and tried to sound as convincing as possible. She loved Daya, she really did, but right now she needed to be alone, and alerting Daya’s motherly instincts was not a good way to lay low.

“Hello,” Crystal said with as much fake enthusiasm as she could muster.

“Crystal oh my god how have you been? I don’t think we’ve spoken for MONTHS”

Crystal rolled her eyes at Daya’s obvious exaggeration. They spoke every day and Daya quite literally said the same phrase every time they talked. She acted like the one grandma that always calls you no matter the date or time. The two carried on their conversation for maybe 30 minutes. Crystal was trying her best to give a great performance and Daya seemed to be buying it. Right as she was hanging up the phone, Daya quickly said:

“She’s no good for you Crystal. It’s time to let go and find someone who actually wants you the way you want them” 

The next thing Crystal heard was the signal of the call ending. She didn’t know what to think, Daya caught her and didn’t even need to ask. Was it really that obvious? Once again, Crystal was lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t know what to do before, and she certainly didn’t know what to do now. 

Gigi had woken up earlier than her friends. She just couldn’t shake what happened with Crystal. The other girl never did call her back, and it broke her heart. She had done **something** to make her best friend avoid her, but she had no idea what. All she could do was rake through her memory and try to figure out what happened, but this led to nothing every time. Soon, the girls would wake up and Gigi would have to put the facade back on. Over the years she had gotten good at hiding her emotions to an extent, but there were always little slip-ups. Gigi was hoping today was going to go smoothly and she could spend her day overthinking in the comfort of her own bed. 

Thirty minutes of thinking and stressing passed before Gigi heard a stir from the living room. Nicky slowly made her way to the kitchen and Gigi already started to make the French girl’s coffee. They might have only known each other for a short while, but Gigi tried to pick up every little detail about her friends. That’s what she did with Crystal and that’s what she would do with everyone. Gigi was the type of friend to wait for you while you tied your shoes or the friend who would be able to order your food for you because she knew what you loved. Nicky took her seat next to Gigi and just thought for a second. She could force Gigi to talk about it, or she could pretend nothing was wrong and get the other girl to spend the day with friends. She decided to let it be and the two sat in comfortable silence, both not wanting to talk about it, but Gigi appreciated Nicky’s presence and she knew it. 

Soon enough, Jan woke up and the girls decided to meet a few others for breakfast at a small cafe. The trio quickly got ready and met Rosy, Symone, and Jackie at the cafe. Gigi was dreading having to be around other people right now, but it could take her mind off things, right? She decided having a little fun could be a good thing for her. If she didn’t have to think about her problems, surely they would go away on their own in just a matter of time. Gigi pulled out her chair and began ordering. Today was going to be a good day, at least that’s what she decided.

Twelve hours later, Gigi finally was able to kick off her heels and throw herself into her comforter. After the brunch, Rosy had taken her to all her favorite boutiques and little shops as a welcome to the city. The pair had spent hours shopping and then somehow ended up in Times Square. Neither of them knew how, but they ended up taking pictures on the stairs and walking by the Richard Rogers Theater, and finally settling at another cafe for a late lunch. Gigi had been exhausted by this point but Rosy just wouldn’t let her go. Trust and believe, Gigi loved Rosy, they were practically sisters at this point, but she needed her own time alone. Maybe going to the same school as someone she knew from home wasn’t the best idea. Rosy had drug Gigi around all day and then taken her back to her apartment so they could “relax.” Gigi wanted nothing more to go home but Rosy knew she had to keep her distracted, and that’s exactly what she did. The two watched movies, played games, and talked for hours until Gigi begged to go home. She was so happy once her head hit the pillow. It had been the **longest** day of her life and now she would spend even longer stuck in her own head. Gigi might have forgotten for the day, but she had all night to think and think **and think**. 

Both girls spent the night thinking about the situation, but neither wanted to pick up the damn phone and call the other. Call it stubbornness if you will, but they would both say they were scared. All they wanted was to fix the issue but they simply wouldn’t communicate. Gigi and Crystal were acting like **that** junior year couple with horrible communication issues and zero interest in apologizing first. That was their biggest flaw and maybe one day it would come back to haunt them. The two girls knew delaying the inevitable conversation would make it worse, but they were just too damn stubborn to try. They could easily pick up the phone but the girls were too stuck in the mindset that the other hated them. One could say the hamartia of their relationship was both girls’ stubborn tendencies, but they aren’t heroes, and this isn’t a tragedy. 


End file.
